(This was written around 8/31, about
two weeks or so after the events described below)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigBgTTu_zxwi0WEzPpBwaThPqQOoIdnN68-ZQ8E0iL-rKktpUfAIFA1YiVqW4XH5Wi6S8x5iK8HivISSJe7gu3_3KMuDJaqGTjF4eUHFxFLm4E5ABOtRt9cP1uOZJlu4hdSI98v_nhQDyA/s320/67.+More+Bo.jpg) |
Downtown Bo |
Walking back from the internet café the other day I
encountered a strange feeling that I've never experienced before. Sure, it has occasionally made an appearance throughout my brief tenure in Sierra Leone, but it
was usually fleeting. This day was different. The day was a busy Saturday in
which I went into Bo and spent the majority of the day at the internet café. I
ended up staying there way longer than I had intended – as I usually do –
pursuing the usual fair that I tend to read on the internet. Due to my extended
stay at the café, I ended up being the last person there and thus had the long
walk home to myself. The majority of the walk was filled with a peculiar
mixture of serenity, homesickness, and isolation. I felt otherworldly – as if I
didn’t quite belong is Sierra Leone. The stares that “pumoy” typically receive
in Bo seemed to have intensified and I felt oddly self-conscious.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj63joYqG9tJhjCmSq7jpek-nhWOq-RXLH2cSMO2Wy8nuw9W9uFwzylUtIxjAy2nEIvtKdCdAEpGv8AusxlcjKvGpABozsis6i9fRqpcfbOOzJhzDnFPSN9zOPusZrYV5kMUxzFm3vy6nt7/s320/20.+A+Mosque+in+Kenema.jpg) |
A mosque in Kenema |
As stated above, this feeling wasn't fleeting – it lasted
the majority of the 40 minute walk home and left me largely at a loss for
words. I wasn't sure what the reasons were for feeling this way. After thinking
about it for a few days I eventually settled on the belief that it was an attempt
to reconcile cultural differences heightened by my extended
stay on the internet observing American culture followed quickly by being
thrown back into Sierra Leone culture as I left the café. Regardless, it left
me taken back. Did I belong in Sierra Leone? What can I actually hope to
accomplish here? Why did I come? Was it worth eschewing time with my family and
friends back home for this? It left me questioning a lot about my service up to
that point and in most cases, I didn't have sufficient answers. Instead I
reframed my thoughts – I had only been in country for perhaps 5 or so weeks at
that point – what did I truly know about Sierra Leone? I hadn't even moved into
my site yet and still had a good chunk of PST left to undertake. Despite my
inability to come up with answers to all the questions about, I responded to
this self-searching with an open ended plea for more time. Time will tell if
these things work themselves out and slowly disappear or if these instances
come more and more frequently as I progress in my service.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9QRkJRVXJUMZlXp6UISQR21kNf2Cg-x12QJsfwh8BNzKTTLd_LDKkcyszvH8yB9HqIH7PyvnzEw0U8HV2mI-MFw6Sby_1J_tJexXoTmGx0r5ZFloxCATcs0Gd_T3_NZpyHIk80RZLgRfq/s320/66.+Downtown+Bo.jpg) |
More downtown Bo |
EDIT
Thankfully this feeling has largely been non-existent after
this anomalous event. It was an important experience though as it served as a
poignant reminder to reframe and reassess my situation and the reasons for why
I've joined the Peace Corps in the first place – something that I should be
doing on a regular basis anyway. I shouldn't need a melange of disparate
emotions to trigger this self-reflection. Hopefully as time moves forward, this
introspection becomes a bit more second-hand.
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